I've had a handful of this today. Yes, chest pains ... not the angina pectoris type (signifying a heart condition) but a really painful chest. Ouch! I was subjected to have a 2D echocardiogram today so I could have 'another' Cardiology clearance to finally get a residence ID. This was the second time that I had this test, so I somehow have an idea on how painful it could get.
People who know me too well are aware as to how hospitals and checkups bring out that forlorn side of me. And that it would lead to my next topic ... the other side of the coin. A different type of pain. The midlife-crisis-type of pain.
What I have is my own manifestation of white-coat syndrome. It is during this time when I, again, hoped that someone was with me out there at the waiting area, reassuring me that everything's gonna be okay. That feeling of security that could wipe away all the anxiety flushing through my veins.
Some married friends usually say I am lucky to still have eight hours (or more) of sleep, get into a shopping spree any time of the month, take a vacation whenever and wherever I want to... and the list goes on. Others would say I deserve someone better and that I have to just wait until God gives His special gift for me. Honestly, right now, I am tired of waiting.
It's not that I want to rush into desperate measures. I am just thinking out loud. This is what I feel at this very moment. Silly but true.
Just allow me this moment to wallow in misery without judging me negatively.
Tomorrow will be a better day. And I'll be back to my usual hopeful self.
I'll be fine. This is just my sentimental side blurting out her sentiments. The bubbly and sanguine version will surely be back tomorrow as soon as the physical pains are gone.
And to my friends who said that the best is yet to come, please don't give up on reminding me about it.
I still believe in that ... perhaps, when I have become a better person, too.
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