Always a Legionary

Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?

This is the heart of a prayer being recited by members of the Legion of Mary.

I was one of the pioneer legionaries at our local parish, and I recall having a fruitful apostolic start as a young servant.  I regularly hear mass and attend the weekly prayer meeting.  Together with the other members, we spearheaded 2 block rosary units in our place.  There were home visitations, prison visits, visitations of the sick, to name a few.  We also had times mixing play and pray - the annual Acies (something like renewal of our vow) and the September birthday celebration (of Mama Mary!).  The growth of our group was monumental.  Soon thereafter, we already have junior legionaries!

Through the years, we've had members coming and leaving.  Some left to live overseas, some got married, some just did not felt like keeping the vow alive.  And it died.

The true test lies on living what we preach.  That's where I failed.  And only because I thought I have found love.  A complicated one.

My journey then brought my feet to the Kingdom where practicing religion outside of Islam is prohibited.  Who would have thought that in my random PC searches I would be lead back to a group of courageous people who never wavered to live up to their vows.  My complicated relationship seem to be cast aside momentarily solely because the person works in a faraway place.  Swallowing the bitter pill, I soon found myself attending to my religious duties, albeit secretly.  That is when I remembered what a church elder told us when we were just starting out, "Once a legionary, always a legionary."  

When I got back to my home country, I still could not find the strength to revive the group.  The sole reason - my "it's complicated" relationship. I do not see it fit.  It would be like a blind leading the blind.

Behind that complexity, I would always ask Father God to show me the way back to the right direction.  It did not happen overnight.  A lot of broken promises and a lot of (tears) and years later, I finally got the courage to put an end to that vicious cycle.  I then found myself wandering through the humid air of Qatar.

Tonight, I have just sent an E-mail to four people who seem to be connected with the Legion of Mary here in Doha.  (Thanks to Google!)

I hope to receive a reply from them so I could serve back.  I am eager to fulfill my promise to Her and to Our Father.  This time, I come with an open self, free from the shadow of my sinful and sorrowful past.

And I request all of you, dear brothers and sisters, to pray for me to never falter again.

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Mary Help of Christians.  Pray for us.

Lord, grant me the strength to continue walking back to Your path.  Amen.