Lost

♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪  Do you know where you're going to?

Do you like the things that life is showing you?

Where are you going to?

Do you know?  ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

This Diana Ross classic lingers in my memory every so often.  How would I forget?  This was one of our graduation songs in 1990.

Looking back, I think I always knew what I really wanted.  But things changed along the way.  Indecision sets in.

Every night before I fall asleep, my mind wanders through a lot of unanswered questions.  What is it that I really want?  What have I done to get what I want?  Am I happy with the decisions I've made through the years?  Or it could have been better?  What if I said 'yes' to this, 'no' to that?  What if I did this?  And so on...
Some of these questions exist to this very day.

It's that feeling of wanting to do something and yet you do not know when or where or how to start.

I'm 33, and I still do not know the answers.

So help me God.

Less Talk, Less Mistake

I was scheduled to go back to the staff clinic today to have my PPD reading.  This is a test in which a small amount of tuberculin is injected under the skin to see if a patient has tuberculosis (TB).

Well, TB is not yet eradicated in the Philippines so we are at risk to be exposed.

The sub-dermal injection was done four days ago.  I was quite sure that I will not have any reaction to the agent any more.

And I was correct.

The nurse told me that I tested negative and that I could go back to my duty already.  So I turned to face the door without realizing that I was speaking my thoughts out loud.

Unknowingly, I said, "Hay salamat, di na ko positive dahil sa INH*!"

And the clock stood still for a split second, and then I heard the nurse said:  "WHAT DID YOU SAY, SISTER?!  INH?  WHEN?" And an internal alarm suddenly nagged me that something will turn out wrong.

"Uhhmm, in 2006, sister.  I had INH therapy in Riyadh."  And said this in a reassuring manner thinking it would change her mind.

Uh-oh...too late!  I lost my grace under pressure and told her something I'm not supposed to say! 

She handed me a request form to have another blood test done to double-check if I am indeed exposure-free.  So instead of getting clearance today, I will have to submit myself for a QuantiFERON test tomorrow at the OPD! 

Me and my big mouth!  

*Isoniazid is a treatment given to patients who tested positive for TB exposure.

Angels Everywhere

When I first learned that my Qatar application has been approved, mixed emotions again hovered. It would mean adjusting to the humid weather one more time, exposing to a somehow-restricted culture, and new groups of people to mingle with.

It was not as frightening as my first flight though so I know that somehow, life in Doha will not be as life-changing as what I have been through in Riyadh.

I breezed through NAIA without any issues except for the one-hour delayed departure. I was able to stretch out and spend 4 hours at Bahrain International Airport before enplaning to Doha International Airport.

Tired and hungry, I literally dragged my luggage to get to the designated building. And there they were, 2 angels in disguise. They patiently waited for my arrival to help me get to my room and prepared dinner for me! They literally adopted me for a week until such time that I could go out and buy my basic needs - food, utensils, toiletries.

My three flatmates are also kind fellows. Upon learning that they already have a neighbor at room D, they greeted me and told me there is no rush to buy utensils as I could use their things at the kitchen. They also offered to share their wireless internet connection and cable TV unless I see the need to get my own.

At the HR office, a Filipino was in charge of the new staff. He is warm and accommodating - I never felt that I'm in a foreign land.

When I went to the designated bank to open an ATM account for my salary, the pleasant Qatari lady courteously told me that the request has been denied because of changes with the bank's policy. Even before I could raise a single question, she was already on her feet ushering me to the office of the Assistant Bank Manager and told me to talk to him because he is a Filipino. And voila, I got my current account opened in an instant!

To these wonderful people who have been heaven-sent, thank you so much and may your tribe increase!