Monday, October 5, 2015

We Are Family

Every family has its own story to share, and mine was not different from most we hear.

My mother was raised by a farmer-plain housewife couple.  My father had the same upbringing. They met at a church retreat; my mom accompanied her elder sister, my father tagged along with her elder sister, too.  The bus broke down on their way home, and the rest is history.

Being the eldest, I had the perks of seeing my great grandparents and grandparents alive.  I was able to hear stories of olden times from them, learned about their life during the war, and learned the basics of my faith from them.

The wisdom from the old taught us to love and respect each other.

And in my very eyes, I saw how my family supported one another.

When an aunt was diagnosed to have end-stage renal failure (a severe kidney disease), every sibling and in-law helped to get her through the costly medications and hospital bills.  My cousins were still studying at that time, and my uncle's salary is not enough to make ends meet. She passed away on the day his eldest son was about to board his first job as a seaman.  That moment was very heartbreaking for all of us, my cousin not wanting to leave his mom's wake but he had to, else lose the opportunity they have all waited for a long time.

I stood side by side with my family amidst a demolition team at one point in our life.  We were the only ones who lived in a different city at that time, so that means everyone's house except ours will be torn down in favor of a private owner who claimed the land.  It was another painful experience as we see all our childhood memories go down into blocks of broken concrete, splinters of old wood, and a bunch of rusty metal sheets.  Eventually, everybody had to yield with what is right and lawful.  And my relatives almost came to a point of being homeless.  Our house was small, so we could not take in the entire family, but my parents relentlessly supported their siblings.  Every day, we would lift boxes of things we could salvage from the ruins while my parents helped in looking for a decent place for them to find shelter.  We were there with them all throughout their ordeal.  By God's grace, every one now has a house of their own.

When my mother was diagnosed to have stage 2 breast cancer in 2002, and our family only depends on the small crops that my father produces in our small farm, I was quite shaken for a while. I thought we would not be able to overcome that agony.  The surgery itself costs a lot. There would be six sessions of chemotherapy and numerous radiotherapy sessions following that. My younger sisters were still studying, and I have just resigned from my first job.  Then came the help from the entire family.  And to date, my mother has been one of the blessed survivors of breast cancer in the world and she has been active in our parish after recovery.

Birthdays and anniversaries have always been our favorite occasions.  This is a time for all of us to gather and give thanksgiving to the Lord for all His provisions.  Albeit the simple life that we have, we were able to provide memorable 18th birthday parties to every girl in our family. We have celebrated numerous surprise anniversary parties for our parents.  Guests would always praise our grandparents for raising a family like ours.  Friends would envy our bond.

I would always see my mother and my aunts cry together in every occasion.  When we ask them why, they would say that they miss their parents.  They miss our grandparents, and perhaps they were hoping that they were able to enjoy this little comfort that we have nowadays.

My father's side is also a closely knit family, although they were smaller compared to my mom's.  On most occasions, new acquaintances would always mistake my aunt and my mom to be sisters (they are in-laws).  She helped us get through college when my father lost his job due to the Gulf Crisis in the 90s.  My two other uncles have raised a family of their own.  We helped each other especially when I had a cousin who was diagnosed with leukemia.  It was another painful experience for us, but we remained strong.  There were struggles and conflicts along the way, but everything went well eventually, and my cousin saw it all before he passed away on his 11th birthday.

Faith in God has helped our family get through a lot of trials over the years.  No one gave up simply because the family support was strong.  Most of the time, we would hear mass as a family.  All my cousins are active lay servants in the church - some were choir members, the others lectors and commentators, and two belong to this community (my cousin is an active member of CFC Dubai, while I am part of SFC Qatar).

Our life may end up in the the month-long anniversary feature for "MMK," what with all the ups and downs that we have been through.  By God's grace, we have emerged victoriously.  My cousins and I have all landed good-paying jobs to provide for our ageing parents.  We were able to somehow provide them some comfort - restaurant treats and leisure travels here and there.

We never stopped loving.  We never gave up.  We never ceased praying.  We kept supporting each other.

We are family, and we protect family.

I may not be born with a silver spoon, but I have this family, and it is everything that matters.

I am truly blessed.

__________________________

And this, my friends, is my family.


My wacky family (L-R):  Ellalaine (youngest), Shella (middle), me, Nanay Luz, Tatay Ben, and my niece Arlain.

New Year's Eve 2011 at our home.

With my aunts, uncles, and cousins (father's side).

Our annual Encabo family get-together (mother's side).

With Nanay's siblings and in-laws on her 60th birthday.